Quickie

I am not comfortable in dresses at all. I like jeans and shirts or shorts and hoodies. I like to feel at ease with what I'm in. I don't like looking-I don't know-attractive I guess; I usually don't like the stares I get because something is too tight or too revealing.

And it reminds me of my sisters. When they used to sneak out when mom would be passed out at night from working a double shift at the hospital, they used to look so high maintenance. Nice clothes and even nicer shoes. Things that showed off the butt, hips and boobs our mother gave us. And it was all to see the no-good drug dealer that bought or stole all of that for them. Yahaira boosted the best of her wardrobe herself though.

By the time I was a junior in high school, I already had four of my nieces and nephews to take care of while Yahaira was in and out of jail and Yelena, the smarter of my older sisters but not by much, was going to school to be a nurse like Mami. She had to take night classes while working at 7-11 and Mami hadn't stopped working her shifts so that left me to be the mother.

That meant there was no point of looking pretty or trying to pretend that I could. The only escape was my drawing and my nerd addictions. I needed a place to escape to. High school never left me with much room for that. Most people thought I was poor or on drugs seeing as who my two sisters were so nobody who talked to me wasn't talking behind my back.

So by my logic, it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone I got the operation and yet, Mami practically bawled when I went to explain it to her. She thought that I had a duty to do it right and have a husband and a career unlike her and my sisters did. I was supposed to be the one who could have the storybook life she coveted.

I was so angry at her. Her tears meant nothing to me. I had never felt so cold or empty of emotion. It was as if the kitchen I grew up in wasn't mine with the white embroidered table cloth nor the waxed fruit in the wicker bowl. My pictures weren't tacked along with Deon's and the rest of her grand kids. Apparently, I hadn't taught them all to draw and paint when they asked where their mothers and fathers were. I hadn't done any of it because no one had acknowledged it.

I left Mami at the table, her chin resting on her gnarled knuckles as she clutched a most tissue, after telling her I wouldn't be able to keep the kids tonight.

I went to pick Silver up wearing a dress. A tight little red thing that stopped just above my knees. It left my chest supported and covered but my back bare to just above the small of my back. I hadn't changed my mind about not wearing any heels instead opting for some very comfortable sandals with red straps. They were too worn in to be used with such a dress-I had them for at least three years-but I didn't mind and I didn't think Silver would.

He stepped out the door with a dark blazer over one of his signature tees, jeans and dark loafers. Silver had dressed up a bit but he was still a slacker. He walked up slow, taking me in the waning light of the day. He looked amazed, awed, and turned on all at once. I knew I was blushing. "And your blushing..." He said with a light laugh. "You mean you don't know how good you look for real?"

I was clutching my customarily small purse in my hands, wondering why women carry such things to accessorize in a vain attempt to hide my embarrassment. I looked up at him, smiling nervously as his eyes drunk me in. It was already hot outside but it was getting hotter. "Not really." I said as nonchalantly as possible.

"Well let me be the first of many to tell you so." He pulled me in for an easy kiss. It was so sudden, I hardly had time to prepare. I didn't resist as he crushed me against him softly.

I tried to ignore the erection I found. "So where are we going?"

"New Symrna." I got into the passenger side of my Nissan. "You're driving. I'm rolling when needed." Silver was climbing clumsily into the driver's side before I adjusted the seat for him. I laughed when he finally got in.

"So we're hotboxing it?" He was still playing with the seat to get it right. Typical man. Not asking for help when he's obviously in need of it. I reached over him and fiddled with the controls. I didn't know my breasts were in his lap or that my ass was in the air until I felt him rub it. It was through the fabric but it was soft and purposeful.

I was tingling a bit but I didn't let him know it. "There. Now you can drive with your hands and not your knees."

"It would have been more fun with my knees." Silver started up the car and was backing up. "I know it. Hey is this Katy Perry?"

Sure enough, it was, her latest. I forgot I was blasting it when I drove up. He caught my eye as he pulled on to Mellonville. It had gotten a little cooler but not by much. The sky looked like dying fire. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Who cares if I like Katy Perry?"

"I don't."

"That's right you don't." Silver was smiling serenely but a full on guffaw was imminent. I knew him too well. "She's not as bad as Kesha."

" Hmmmm. I supposed not."

"Or Britney Spears."

"Or that chick who sung that Friday song on Youtube." He laughed as we went past a daycare. "Now she was awful."

We would only let down the window between joints. I know smoking while driving is stupid. I'm not going to make any excuses for it.

But I wanted to enjoy my freedom. From my mother and my sisters and as bad as it sounds, my nieces and nephews. I didn't have to stay and take care of kids because I didn't have any, would never have any. I was only responsible for me an the decisions I made.

I was light and I was laughing. The sky had turned indigo. The drop in temperature and the wind from the open windows cooled me. The trees along the road began to blur into darkness.

Silver's hand was on my thigh, squeezing and rubbing as he worked his way under my dress. He smiled at me and I spread my legs to give him access. His eyes were back on the road but he was still searching.

"No panties." He breathed. His finger was on my clit making lazy circles. I hadn't shaved down there in a day or two. I was fuzzy but he didn't seem to care. He was going up and down my slit, still slow but I was getting wet because of it.

I closed my eyes and gave into what he was doing. I had hiked my skirt up a bit, not wanting to get it stained. I could hear him breathe, feel his heat. I pushed his fingers into me. I couldn't help it. I was close to coming and I needed some penetration. "We're gonna have to pull over."

"Why?" I whined. I was moving my hips on his palm. I was feeling great. I was close, so on the edge I could feel the orgasm ebbing. I felt so warm.

"Because I have to fuck you." He took his hand away and I pulled at it. Silver took my hand, put it on his crotch. I squeezed his hard-on and knew then what he was saying was right; he needed to fuck me and I needed to fuck him. His fingers were going to do it.

He was turning off some road. We hadn't got to New Symrna yet so that meant we might be close to some civilization still. I didn't want that. I wanted his dick.

It occurred to me somewhere between unzipping his pants and having my head in his lap that I might have been more prudent to wait for it. Silver was driving. We were in the public eye. He might have a hard time driving.

"Goddamn you." He moaned. I could feel his stomach go in and out as sucked him. I was going fast, slobbering, head bobbing, hungry. I couldn't see what he was dealing with and didn't care to. "I can hardly even think with you-" I took him as deep in my throat as I could. I could feel his body freeze up.

He took me off his dick and kissed me. We were going down a road with some sort of gas station. Its sign was flickering on and off, paint peeling off of its face. The rest was woods as far as I could see.

Silver took one road, then another, then we were on a dirt road. There was nothing but trees. I didn't see any homes. I thought it might be farm land or something. Who knows? I didn't care.

He killed the lights. We got out. Dark but still a little light outside, we were able to make it to the front of my car.

We kissed. He squeezed my tits, teased my nipples. I jacked his dick and kissed the hollow of his neck.

Then I was on the hood, legs spread. Silver ate me and finger fucked me. I was cumming in his mouth, pushing his head down in it. "Suck it. Just like that. And your-" His fingers curled as he moved in and out me. "Yeah! Just like that!"

"You taste so good." He lapped at me some more. "Like sugar." My eyes were squeezed shut but I could feel his smile. He pulled me forward and he was inside me, thrusting slow. I could feel the moans in his gut as he moved against me. The car was rocking slightly with his rhythm.

He kissed me. My lips. My eyes. My neck. I had the all over sensation like I'm at the apex of roller coaster waiting to take the plunge. I wrapped my legs and arms around him. "Cum in me." I whispered in his ear.

Silver moved licked my neck in response. He moved hard and fast in me. I was tightening around him, lost in my own joy, not realizing I was screaming at the top of my lungs along with Silver as he repeated my name.

That was a much needed ego boost.

He was pumping still inside me, even after he stopped moving. I still did however, rocking slowly with my hips as he hissed and cursed. He was still semi-hard. "Rosalina."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just-first time I've yelled a woman's name like that." He sounded genuinely humbled. It was strange. Not that Silver was egomaniac but he was fairly cock sure-pardon the pun-most of the time. I refused to believe what he told me.

"Shut up. This is not the first time." I laughed as he got me to my feet. Somehow I had lost one of my slides in our coupling. Now it was pitch black.

"I'm not kiddin'." Silver had his smart phone out, using the screen as flashlight. He found my shoe and delicately put it on my foot. The gesture was almost reverent. "That's uh, a first for me."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Because there was no protection?"

Silver was quiet. "I don't think that was it." He got into the car and I did after getting myself fairly situated. We set in the car a moment before he started it up.

"So what was it?" I said after we found 417 again. I was holding his free hand on the arm rest. It felt natural but it was clearly a more intimate form of contact. I was half expecting him to pull away but he didn't.

"I don't know Rosalina. It seems we're to of a kind sometimes. Right down to some of the decisions we make."

"Oh? How's that?"

"I had a vasectomy about a year or so ago." It had all the abruptness of a vase smashing. I was speechless for a beat and he began before I could say anything. "I wanted to tell you but I didn't think you'd understand, you know, with your nieces and nephews and all."